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What Would People Think?

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Who's Going to the Class Reunion?

Hey 2003 Vandy Grads!

Are you planning on attending the Vanderbilt Homecoming/5-year class reunion this year? It's October 24-25.

They got a website which, among other things, ingeniously lists the people who have already said they are attending. Among the attending folks whose names I recognized: Joy Craun, Sarah Hille, and Lori Branyan Metrock.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Depressing Budgetary News

In keeping with the quote on Mike's blog regarding budgetary issues, I bring you the following depressing news: According to a couple nonpartisan analyst groups, The Concord Coalition and The Tax Policy Center, each of the three candidates' proposals will balloon the national debt over the next decade. (See the story here.)

Unsurprisingly, McCain's proposals will fuel debt via tax cuts whereas Obama and Clinton's proposals will do so via spending. (Each candidate argues some other measures they are taking will pay for their plans, but the analysts in these two groups aren't optimistic.) Somewhat more surprisingly, it's predicted that McCain's proposal will add to the debt 3 times as much as the Democrats'.

Great campaign slogan: "Vote Democrat! Fiscally speaking, they'll only screw over your grandchildren 1/3 as much." Yup, I'm inspired.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Comic Strip Trend

Everybody's into mocking The Family Circus these days. And they like doing so with bizarre, yet hilarious jokes that play upon the "reality" of comic strips.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Things I Learned In My First Trial

Okay, you impatient readers named Mike. Generally speaking, the trial went well. I'm willing to talk about the trial over the phone (although not the name of the company), but, as I said before, not on the Internet. You never know who's watching. I've been Google-stalked by opposing counsel before.

So, in lieu of an actual description of the trial, I offer the following lessons learned from the trial.

(1) A sarcastic judge is awesome, unless his sarcasm is employed in ruling against you.

(2) Twelve-and-a-half solid hours of lawyering with nothing but a half-hour lunch break leads to nausea, headaches, a pounding heart, and bizarre leg cramps. Proof positive that the law should only be taken in small doses.

(3) It helps to actually know the law which is the basis for your trial.

(4) Do not, under any circumstances, either insult the judge or imply the judge lacks integrity. We will call this the Blindingly Obvious Rule of Legal Practice.

(5) One of the best ways to learn how to be a lawyer is to watch a more experienced - and incredibly awesome - lawyer in action.

(6) No matter how much you practice, no matter how methodically you plan - and, trust me, I'm methodical - you cannot predict everything that will happen at trial and you cannot have a contingency plan for everything. You need to think on your feet. I need to work on that one.

(7) As in everything, the answer you get depends a lot on how you ask.

(8) Shaking your head and making a disgusted, skeptical noise while the other guy's witness is testifying does not constitute an argument. Nor is it evidence.

And if you're living in suspense as to whether I won the trial, you'll have to continue living in suspense with me. I still have to write a post-trial brief. We're talking months here. So hold your horses, gentle readers.

And if you, dear reader, are opposing counsel in any of my cases, please find better things to do with your time.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

First Trial Is Tomorrow

My first trial is tomorrow. Won't say much about it here because I don't like to (and probably shouldn't) talk about my work on the Net. Call me this weekend if you want to know how it went.

Suffice to say that prayers/encouragement/a complete cheerleading squad would be greatly appreciated.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

When Lingo Attacks

I read the following line in a weather alert on weather.com:

"Nonflood flooding is occurring." Huh?

(Your assignment: got any other examples of nonsensical technical lingo?)